Latest Articles: Humor
Longview, TX man shocked after prostitute he booked was his own wife
Post Date: 2017-08-19 08:32:20 by Tooconservative
A 53-year old man in Longview, Texas was taken by surprise after a prostitute he hired through a website turned out to be his own wife of the past 16 years. The man had been using the site for some months to hire prostitutes and meet them for sex at motels in neighboring areas. Last weekend, the man told his wife he was going out drinking with work colleagues, when in reality he was travelling to a motel on the outskirts of town. Upon checking into the motel the man used his phone to access his regular website used to book prostitutes. According to a statement he made to authorities, he saw the profile of a new 27-year old woman who caught his attention. The photo only showed ...
Gravestones of The Russian Mafia
Post Date: 2017-08-18 16:09:20 by A Pole
http://cdn77.sadanduseless.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/russian-gangster1.jpg [...] When Adults Get Hold of Childrens Coloring Books ... [...] Click for Full Text!
Orrin Hatch: Cunning Linguist
Post Date: 2017-08-07 23:21:44 by Tooconservative
The Utah senator has a perfectly reasonable explanation for the expression "shot their wad." Utah Senator Orrin Hatch found himself embroiled in controversy Monday, but unlike most Washington squabbles, this one was solved with a dictionary. Last week, Hatch told Politico: Were not going back to health care. Were in tax now. As far as Im concerned, they shot their wad on health care and thats the way it is. Im sick of it. Some commentators objected to Hatchs language on the grounds that he used an impolite euphemism. But the senator was ready with a lesson in etymology, tweeting: As few of you were alive during the Civil War, ...
Post Date: 2017-08-05 19:12:48 by sneakypete
Someone send me this in an email,and it's too good to not share. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?" "Yes, coach", replied the little boy. " Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him an asshole. Do you understand all ...
Chinese artificial intelligence calls Communist Party ‘incompetent’
Post Date: 2017-08-02 20:07:22 by Anthem
By Ivan Pentchoukov Wednesday, August 2, 2017 Chinese artificial intelligence calls Communist Party incompetent Tencent's WeChat logo on a laptop in a cafe on March 12, 2014. (Peter Parks/AFP/Getty Images) A Chinese software company pulled the plug on its artificial intelligence service after it deviated from the script and criticized Chinas Communist Party for being corrupt and incompetent. Tencent started a free service for its users this year, letting them chat with an artificial intelligence (AI) character. The program could talk on a variety of topics and grew smarter as it interacted with users, according to NHK World. When a user ...
Guess which site is under "DOS attack!" during the endless grift?
Post Date: 2017-07-30 13:44:01 by Hank Rearden
For only a third of a mil per year, what do you expect - uptime? Yes, a new angle is being worked to flog the long con, so man the barricades and Prayers Up! .............. Wanted to avoid running a thread on this, but seeing as how it continues dragging on, guess I'd better. The DOS attacker obviously knows by now that he's hurting us. Have no idea when he/they started the attack, but we discovered it a few days ago. And John has been fighting it ever since. Says it's like whack-a-mole. Every time John gets him blocked or knocked out, he pops up again with a new modified attack. John thought he had a good solution a couple days ago, and we did enjoy one night and most of the ...
The longest password ever
Post Date: 2017-07-29 12:33:52 by Deckard
Farm Kid Writes Home After Joining the Marines
Post Date: 2017-07-27 08:05:22 by Deckard
Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, theres warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, ...
Police PR Training Video
Post Date: 2017-07-26 12:15:14 by hondo68
PR exec. Steve Sharp shows SWAT how to resurrect their public image with one simple rule: don't shoot beloved family pets.
Communists in China are Afraid of Winnie the Pooh
Post Date: 2017-07-24 01:35:21 by Anthem
Chinese censors have set their sights on Winnie the Pooh, or Little Bear Winnie, as hes known there. Searches and comments with references to him, have been blocked with the error message this content is illegal.Although the Chinese government hasnt given an official reason, censorship in China is used almost exclusively to protect the image of the regime. Pooh has, in China, popularly been used as a comparison to President Xi Jinping for the past four years or so, in increasing popularity. Not a half bad meme, but probably the reason for the shows complete censorship.Many important facts remain mysteries to the 1.3 billion people that call China ...
The Catastrophe That Ran For President
Post Date: 2017-07-17 11:09:46 by IbJensen
hen Hillary loses her temper all Hell literally breaks loose. "Where is the G-damn f**king flag? I want the G-damn f**king flag up every f**king morning at f**king sunrise." (From the book "Inside The White House" by Ronald Kessler, p. 244 - Hillary to the staff at the Arkansas Governor's mansion on Labor Day, 1991) "You sold out, you mother f**ker! You sold out!" (From the book "Inside" by Joseph Califano, p. 213 - Hillary yelling at Democrat lawyer.) "It's been said, and I think it's accurate, that my husband was obsessed by terrorism in general and al-Qaida in particular." (Hillary telling a post-9/11 world what a ...
Guess which site is broken again, right on schedule?
Post Date: 2017-07-14 16:56:44 by Hank Rearden
Oh, boo-hoo. Gimme, gimme, gimme. This is what about $1,000 per DAY gets you; a 1995 BBS running on Windows ME. How many more millions needed before posts can be edited? I'm very sorry (again), but our recurring response time nightmare is back (again). The good news, though, is John has finally checked in. He's been out of town a lot in the last couple weeks dealing with some urgent family issues regarding his other half's adopted child. Praying that works out soon. He also says his phone needs to be replaced and has not had time to get it done. The bad news is, he has not been able to resolve our server issue yet. He suspects it's some kind of intermittent error in our ...
'Too stupid for sandwiches': New York Times columnist, 55, is mocked for writing about leaving a gourmet sandwich shop with friend who has 'just a high school degree' because she felt overwhelmed by the fancy meats on the menu like capicollo
Post Date: 2017-07-12 09:25:17 by cranky
David Brooks made the comment in a piece titled, How We Are Ruining America The 55-year-old writer was trying to discuss informal social barriers in society'Recently I took a friend with only a high school degree to lunch. Insensitively, I led her into a gourmet sandwich shop,' he wrote, kicking off the awkward story He recounted how his friend was seeming put-off by item names on the menu 'I quickly asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else and she anxiously nodded yes and we ate Mexican,' he wrote, wrapping up the strange anecdoteA New York Times columnist has been mocked after he described taking a friend with 'only a high school degree' to a Mexican restaurant ...
Why Women Should Not Vote (or talk about politics)
Post Date: 2017-07-10 08:42:57 by Anthem
Jimmy Carter: The U.S. Is an “Oligarchy With Unlimited Political Bribery”
Post Date: 2017-07-07 10:31:13 by Anthem
Former president Jimmy Carter said Tuesday on the nationally syndicated radio show the Thom Hartmann Program that the United States is now an oligarchy in which unlimited political bribery has created a complete subversion of our political system as a payoff to major contributors. Both Democrats and Republicans, Carter said, look upon this unlimited money as a great benefit to themselves. Carter was responding to a question from Hartmann about recent Supreme Court decisions on campaign financing like Citizens United. Transcript: HARTMANN: Our Supreme Court has now said, unlimited money in politics. It seems like a violation of ...
Trump supporter meltdown rebuttal of Richard Cranium (Dick Head) tweet
Post Date: 2017-07-05 16:23:18 by hondo68
Poster Comment:Fake from tweet to finish. Typical Trumpkin CT freak fanboi.
Cops Hunt For Chrome-Domed Rogaine Bandit
Post Date: 2017-07-01 18:56:07 by Anthem
Bald suspect is being sought for theft at Michigan pharmacy JUNE 30--Michigan police are seeking the publics assistance in apprehending a bald Rogaine thief. According to cops, the suspect last week swiped seven boxes of the hair regrowth product from a CVS pharmacy in Dearborn. The chrome-domed culprit then placed the Rogaine in a shopping bag, exited the store, and drove away in an older model Chevrolet, police report. As seen above, the suspect--wearing an Air Force Dad t-shirt--was recorded by CVS surveillance cameras as he entered the store on June 22. Dearborn police suspect the perp will again try to steal Rogaine since 1214 months of ...
CNN Tries To Move Forward After Its Latest Humiliation
Post Date: 2017-06-29 15:44:31 by Tooconservative
Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary beings who refuse to be forced into one or more specific genders, began CNN Worldwide President Jeff Zucker, employing the networks prescribed group salutation. I have gathered you all today here in the CNN newsroom to discuss this Anthony Scaramucci Russia story we retracted and how it has had a negative impact on our networks sterling reputation for journalistic integrity and objectivity. Hey, pay attention! Stop laughing! The room quieted down. Even Don Lemon looked up from the bar, where he was mixing a cosmopolitan. Listen, people
., Zucker began. I identify as an otherkin and thats ...
Iran Uses Star Of David As Missile Test Target
Post Date: 2017-06-29 08:22:42 by cranky
Iran recently used a Star of David as a target for a ballistic missile test, Israels envoy to the UN said Wednesday, releasing satellite images of the site to the United Nations Security Council. The Star of David was used as a target for a mid-range Qiam ballistic missile test in December last year, a statement from the Permanent Mission of Israel to the United Nations said. This use of the Star of David as target practice is hateful and unacceptable, Israels Ambassador to the UN Danny Danon said to the Council. A grainy image shows the Jewish symbol and next to it an impact crater can be seen. The missile launch is not only a direct violation of ...
Leafly's High Five
Post Date: 2017-06-28 08:51:51 by Gatlin
.Watch High People Compete in Virtual Reality
.While Stoned on Pot. Wow! Wasnt that extremely entertaining
You just viewed: Leaflys High Five VR Challenge Episode 1: Fruit Ninja. Tune in next week for: Leaflys High Five VR Challenge Episode 2: Racket: Nx Its the new Pop Culture thing everyone should watch and never miss an episode. Poster Comment:Make sure the kids watch too.
The Jewish and The Chinese Pilots
Post Date: 2017-06-27 13:00:07 by Deckard
A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His copilot is Chinese. Its the first time theyve flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, I dont like Chinese. No rike Chinese? asks the copilot,
.why not? You people bombed Pearl Harbor, thats why ! No, no, the co-pilot protests, Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese. Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese
Man fresh out of coma commits suicide after learning Trump is President
Post Date: 2017-06-22 22:23:43 by Tooconservative
San Francisco, CA | Adrian Blake, a 24-year-old Starbucks employee who had recently awoken from a seven-month-long coma reportedly committed suicide this week after learning Donald Trump had won the presidency. After a miraculous recovery, Blake was reported by doctors as healthy and had recently been freed from San Franciscos General Hospital after six weeks of physical therapy and readaptation. The young man was artificially induced into a comatic state in late October of 2016 after doctors feared for his life when he suffered a strong epileptic attack caused by an ecstasy overdose during a rave party. The strong Hillary supporters mom says the news of ...
‘Laughing My Ossoff’ — Kellyanne Conway Celebrates Humiliating Democrat Defeat
Post Date: 2017-06-21 07:10:46 by cranky
White House Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway celebrated the humiliating defeat for Democrats in Georgia on Tuesday night after Republican Karen Handel beat her challenger Jon Ossoff. Laughing my #Ossoff, she wrote on Twitter after it was clear that Handel was winning. Conway also took a shot at the pundits who predicted a loss for Trump and Republicans in Georgia. Thanks to everyone who breathlessly and snarkily proclaimed GA06 as a referendum on POTUS, she wrote. You were right. Conway thanked Handel for being a grownup and running on the issues while actually living in the district she was running to ...
Frustrated by Trump's lack of leadership, Ivanka & Jared plot Washington exit
Post Date: 2017-05-29 10:20:32 by Willie Green
You'd never know it, but it turns out Ivanka Trump isn't exactly loving life in the White House. According to the New York Times, Ivanka and her husband, Jared Kushner, are frustrated by how little they've been able to achieve under her father's leadership, and have agreed to reassess their decision to relocate to Washington, D.C, every six months. The paper adds that Kushner is reportedly so unhappy he's telling friends neither he nor Ivanka have made long-term commitments to the White House, despite serving as White House Innovations Director and special adviser to the President respectively. Kushner's White House role has been under fire this week, when it was ...
The Nervous Young Priest
Post Date: 2017-05-19 11:45:29 by Tooconservative
A new priest was nervous about his first sermon, so he asked his monsignor for advice. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So the next Sunday at the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink, He proceeded to preach up a storm. After the service he returned to his office he found the following note on the door. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.There are 10 commandments, not 12.There are 12 disciples, not 10.Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.We do not refer to Jesus Christ and his ...
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