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Humor
See other Humor Articles

Title: Top Eight Idiots In The News
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Sep 10, 2018
Author: Unknown
Post Date: 2018-09-10 08:03:29 by IbJensen
Keywords: None
Views: 156
Comments: 7

1. *AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. *WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'

3. *WHAT WAS PLAN B? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, where in the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. *THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. *DID I SAY THAT? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'

6. *ARE WE COMMUNICATING? A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'

7. *NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo.!!!)

8. *THE GRAND FINALE! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

*Now remember, these are all true stories, and these people vote and most have children!*

--

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#1. To: IbJensen (#0)

Those were really funny. But also scarey considering that they vote !!

Si vis pacem, para bellum

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.

Never Pick A Fight With An Old Man He Will Just Shoot You He Can't Afford To Get Hurt

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." (Will Rogers)

"No one ever rescues an old dog. They lay in a cage until they die. PLEASE save one. None of us wants to die cold and alone... --Dennis Olson "

AMERICA! Designed by geniuses. Now run by idiots.

Stoner  posted on  2018-09-10   8:36:38 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: IbJensen (#0)

these are great, but I would change the title to:

Case histories of eight obama voters.

BobCeleste  posted on  2018-09-10   9:46:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Stoner (#1)

I like these two best.

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.

Never Pick A Fight With An Old Man He Will Just Shoot You He Can't Afford To Get Hurt

BobCeleste  posted on  2018-09-10   9:47:43 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: BobCeleste (#3)

LOL, glad you like them Bob old friend. Good to hear from you !! Hope all is well with you, have not seen you around for awhile !

Si vis pacem, para bellum

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.

Never Pick A Fight With An Old Man He Will Just Shoot You He Can't Afford To Get Hurt

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." (Will Rogers)

"No one ever rescues an old dog. They lay in a cage until they die. PLEASE save one. None of us wants to die cold and alone... --Dennis Olson "

AMERICA! Designed by geniuses. Now run by idiots.

Stoner  posted on  2018-09-10   10:11:01 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: IbJensen (#0)

Those eight were good, but you missed one.

You should have listed Obutthead running his blue gums about anything !!!

Si vis pacem, para bellum

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.

Never Pick A Fight With An Old Man He Will Just Shoot You He Can't Afford To Get Hurt

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." (Will Rogers)

"No one ever rescues an old dog. They lay in a cage until they die. PLEASE save one. None of us wants to die cold and alone... --Dennis Olson "

AMERICA! Designed by geniuses. Now run by idiots.

Stoner  posted on  2018-09-10   16:10:51 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: IbJensen (#0)

Trayvon marTin

Tried To shooT a honky

WiTh his own gun

Michael brown

Tried To disarm a cop

Oj simpson

Saw Ron Goldman

Talking To his woman

Awards of The hood - gheTTo

Love
boris

Ps

Barrack osamma hussien obamma

Hoax

Chains

Yes we con

Rape

LooT

RioT

Pillage

Plunder

Voodoo

WhiTe slavery

If you ... don't use exclamation points --- you should't be typeing ! Commas - semicolons - question marks are for girlie boys !

BorisY  posted on  2018-09-10   16:23:40 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Stoner (#1)

Africa's gift to Americans: chaos thanks to Barry Obomba, the phony president.

Liberals are like Slinkys. They're good for nothing, but somehow they bring a smile to your face as you shove them down the stairs.

IbJensen  posted on  2018-09-11   7:58:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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