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Humor
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Title: Who Dat? Back In The Closet With Cory Booker!
Source: VEN
URL Source: [None]
Published: Oct 8, 2018
Author: Staff
Post Date: 2018-10-08 11:51:35 by IbJensen
Keywords: None
Views: 44

VEN (WASHINGTON) — According to the New York Times, the object of Cory Booker’s (D-NJ) unwanted New Year’s Eve groping desire was not a 15-year-old high-school girl as Mr Booker contends, but Mr Booker’s imaginary friend T- Bone, a young Afro-American boy who was questioning his sexuality when he and Mr Booker had what T-Bone called “a down-low experience with a higher up!”

As T-Bone explained to VEN’s Senior #METOO Correspondent Mayella Ewell Sunday:

“After we left Pitchers and Catchers in the East Village, we went to a party somewhere.

Cory Booker’s real Spartacus Moment?

“Cory and I were alone in a bedroom and were playing spin the bottle after Cory drank all the MD 20/20 so we had a bottle to play with. Then he started smoking crack cocaine.

“He asked me if I wanted a back rub, and what I thought of Cher — you know the usual white gay stuff, which I found somewhat odd for a black man.

“Anyway, he put on a B-52‘s CD and dimmed the lights. Things were happening very fast. I remember he told me if he ever ran for senate he’d have to hurt me very badly if I told anyone what he was about to do to me. He put his hand over my mouth when I tried to scream for help.

“I was scared. I thought he might inadvertently kill me.

“He must have put something in my Mojito, because when I came to several years later, I was in a cab on my way back to Brooklyn. My shirt was stained. I was having trouble concentrating. It hurt to walk.

“Even though it was decades ago and I had suppressed the memory, last Friday — while I was eating a little sesame seed cake at Starbucks — it all came back to me!

“I suddenly remembered that there were three other men in the room, one of whom had a strange name like Barracks or Bangkok or something. And a man named Deval. I can’t be sure. I am certain, though, that an old Jewish lady had a nice Chinese man put me in a cab, who asked me in broken English what I was doing next Friday night and if I liked to dance the Macarena.

“But he never called.

“After all these years, I finally came forward when I discovered Cory was really a Senator! This man cannot serve in the Senate! He’s a predatory closeted gay man who doesn’t even know who the Pet Shop Boys Are. Or care! And I think he’s paying large black men to follow me into gay clubs, dance with me, buy me drinks, and then take me home with them.

“I’m now in hiding in a bungalow in Key West because I fear for my life. Senator Booker is a gay monster! And Honey, believe me cuz I’m tellin’ the truth — he is just SO unfit to serve in the United States Senate!

“It’s worse than wearing earrings with a sweater!”

Developing . . . . (1 image)

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